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...No President Left Behind
06.04.04 (8:14 pm)   [edit]
Bush Top Ten List Soon to be Revised

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

8) "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

7) "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

6) "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —George W. Bush, Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

5) "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —Rome, July 22, 2001

4) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

3) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

2) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

1) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

...We Must Have Paper Ballots
06.04.04 (7:03 pm)   [edit]
My politics are a little left of center, but this issue is not a partisan one. We must demand that all voting machines produce paper ballots.

Many key states, including Florida, Ohio and other battlegrounds, are installing "black box" voting machines -- computer voting terminals that don't produce a paper ballot.

Without a paper ballot, there's no way to know if our votes are counted correctly. Also, computers are vulnerable to malfunction --how often does yours freeze up?

It's time to take action to protect our votes. Join the call for Voter-Verified Paper Ballots, at:

If ATMs and gas pumps can print receipts, then voting terminals can print paper ballots. Every voter should be able to make sure that his or her vote will count as it was cast, by verifying a paper ballot that can be audited and re-counted. And wherever electronic voting terminals are used, backup paper ballots should also be available, so no voters will be turned away from the polling place if the terminals aren't working.

Every voter in every state should have the same right -- to verify that his or her vote was recorded correctly, with full confidence that it will be counted correctly. We shouldn't have to hand our elections over to manufacturers like Diebold and blindly trust them with the results.

This is not about partisan politics. It's about the foundation of our democracy: our votes. There's no reason Americans should have anything less than the most accessible, secure and reliable voting system possible.

Gun Control Iragui Style
05.27.04 (3:42 pm)   [edit]
In a brilliant move, the US forces in Irag have put into play a "buy your guns" program similar to those that have been done in some US cities.

This one has a little twist. Everybody is allowed to keep one AK-47 for home protection (I am not making this stuff up.).

The program is working, but we are not doing it right. We are paying too much for the guns. Citizens who turn in guns are paid enough to go out and buy TWO more guns on the black market.

This type of supply and demand will not work in our favor.

Robot Bartender
05.23.04 (9:47 am)   [edit]
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked
him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "150." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

The man decided to test the robot. He walked out
of the bar, turned around, and came back in for another drink.

Again, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."

The man went out and came back in a third time. As
before, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied,"50."

The robot then said, "Are you planning to vote for Bush again?"

A Few Rotten Apples in Any Barrel
05.22.04 (9:50 am)   [edit]
The Bush shills like Rush are all singing a similar tune regarding the Iraq prison scandal. It goes like this:

Seven bad troops disgraced us by their actions, but this is a tiny percent compared to the 125,000 good soldiers. It sure is a tiny percentage. It is .000056 percent if you
believe this baloney.

I'm not buying it, and it has more to do with the math than my political orientation.

Consider. I live in a fairly small, partially rural county in the southern U.S. The population is about 125,000. Thankfully, this area is not a hotbed of criminal activity, but nevertheless their is ample activity by knuckle heads to provide employment for hundreds of law enforcement personnel.

My unscientific theory is that in any given population, about one percent of that population are knuckle heads. Now in the case of the U.S. Military, I would reduce that figure to even less because I feel this population is better educated and trained than that of my county all things considered.

I would suggest that in the military the percent might be
one half of one percent. This would amount to about 600 which is probably a lot closer to the number of wrong doers in our Army in Iraq than seven.

So, oddly enough, I am in agreement with the righties in that I feel that over 99 percent of our soldiers are good, brave citizens. The righties just haven't done the math.

How Much Worse Could You Do It?
05.21.04 (1:22 pm)   [edit]
Almost all the news coming out of Iraq is depressing.

This week we learned that the man, Chalabi, who we counted on to provide us with special info on things like WMDs has been fleecing us to the tune of about 300,000 dollars a month while he provides false information to us and sends our secrets to Iran.

If the government wants bad information, I am sure that you and I could provide it at a greatly reduced rate. I know I would sell it to them for as low as 10,000 dollars a month.

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